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Post by -Vi2- Canadian on Jan 11, 2006 12:37:50 GMT 10
Chuck Norris Facts:www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirtyChuck Norris' Response to such factswww.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspxIN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts. ~ Chuck Norris
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Post by Scruffy Dog on Jan 11, 2006 14:39:51 GMT 10
Chuck Norris is the greatness human being ever. He never actually denied any of the facts though, I noticed. And for good reason.
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Post by acid on Jan 11, 2006 22:08:31 GMT 10
lol is that a real statement?
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Post by -Vi2- Canadian on Jan 12, 2006 1:04:05 GMT 10
did u even click the fucking link?
its goes to his homepage ffs
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Post by neVyn on Jan 12, 2006 9:42:53 GMT 10
yeah for fuck sake acid hahahaha click the link you fool
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Post by -Vi2- BournE on Jan 12, 2006 11:38:34 GMT 10
chuck norris can suck my motherfuckin dick
seriously i bet his not even tough i bet i could beat him up badly with a shwift kik boxsh to the head.
one <3 chucky
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Post by -Vi2- Canadian on Jan 12, 2006 12:53:37 GMT 10
chuck norris can suck my motherfuckin dick seriously i bet his not even tough i bet i could beat him up badly with a shwift kik boxsh to the head. one <3 chucky no
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Post by acid on Jan 12, 2006 15:57:35 GMT 10
pfft at links
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Post by acid on Jan 12, 2006 15:57:55 GMT 10
PS. Jessica Alba > Chuck Norris
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Post by -Vi2- IriDiuM on Jan 12, 2006 18:06:11 GMT 10
Its so fake. Chuck Norris would not respond like that. He'd just roundhouse kick someone.
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Post by -Vi2- Canadian on Jan 13, 2006 1:52:58 GMT 10
its just to throw us off the scent that its all true, much like his christian section
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Post by -Vi2- Arach on Jan 13, 2006 15:07:43 GMT 10
eww
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Post by Scruffy Dog on Jan 13, 2006 15:55:49 GMT 10
Jessica Alba better than Chuck Norris? How is that even relevent? Chuck Norris is the greatest man, but no one beats Jessica Alba.
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Post by -Vi2- IriDiuM on Mar 11, 2006 19:19:34 GMT 10
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Post by acid on Mar 11, 2006 19:28:39 GMT 10
lol gold
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Post by -Vi2- Canadian on Mar 11, 2006 20:38:03 GMT 10
hahaha thats awsome
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Post by Scruffy Dog on Mar 12, 2006 23:44:01 GMT 10
lmao. Chuck Norris's birthday being like 2 days ago, how fitting. Happy Chuck Norris day!
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Post by -Vi2- Arach on Mar 13, 2006 1:49:51 GMT 10
lol.. funny.. but as funny as those chuck norris jokes are.. they're still stupid. =D At least its better than 'the hoff' stuff.
Heres some more...
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Chuck Norris believes what goes around comes a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China.
You can't squeeze blood from a stone... but Chuck Norris can.
Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.
Inspired by the movie Alien vs. Predator, Chuck Norris has begun work on a screen play tentatively titled, "Alien, Predator, Frankenstein, Wolfman, The Mummy and a Whole S*itload of
Vampires vs. Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris is the reason the participants of the Special Olympics are special.
The reason there has been so many different Batman's is because Chuck Norris kept killing them off.
When Chuck Norris is smiling, he just killed your dad.
The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.
Chuck Norris sank the Titanic with a slow-motion roundhouse kick because Chuck Norris can't stand that Celine Dion song.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
Much like the sun, Chuck Norris will cause blindness if looked at for prolonged periods of time.
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.
The only reason the American military forces are still needed in Iraq is because Chuck Norris is not in the American military forces.
Chuck Norris can take a dump while standing.
The world population divides into two groups, those who fear Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe,and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Chuck Norris and forgot to pay him back.
Chuck Norris can count backwards from infinity.
Crop circles are Chuck's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f**k down.
When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck instead.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's sh1t.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
You are what you eat. That is why Chuck Norris diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
Chuck Norris once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
Chuck Norris haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.
The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Chuck Norris punched himself in the face.
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Post by Scruffy Dog on Mar 13, 2006 2:05:26 GMT 10
lmao! Just when I thought I'd read them all, there was more.
Tom Cruise WOULD invent pink.
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Post by -Vi2- Canadian on Mar 13, 2006 2:23:09 GMT 10
personal favourite!!! The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.
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Post by acid on Mar 13, 2006 2:24:10 GMT 10
last 2 are my favourites
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Post by -Vi2- Canadian on Mar 13, 2006 2:26:28 GMT 10
the last one is a WoW joke
because theres a weapon called unstoppable force and a shield called the immovable object for those that dont know...
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Post by -Vi2- Arach on Mar 13, 2006 13:47:09 GMT 10
lol... the unstoppable force and unmovable object were around a _lot_ longer than wow.. just because it mentions them doesnt mean its a WoW joke... the "What happens when an unstoppable force collides with an unmoveable object?" paradigm has been around for ages.
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Post by -Vi2- IriDiuM on Mar 13, 2006 14:16:59 GMT 10
Thats like the n00b who thought the ''4 Horseman of the Apocalypse" was some sort of comic book reference...
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Post by -Vi2- Canadian on Mar 13, 2006 15:30:41 GMT 10
ur all noobs, its a wow joke ok
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Post by acid on Mar 13, 2006 16:54:17 GMT 10
lol wow is the only thing that matters int his world to some people...
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Post by -Vi2- Canadian on Mar 14, 2006 11:30:11 GMT 10
... yeah cause i play so much these days
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Post by -Vi2- IriDiuM on Mar 14, 2006 19:19:14 GMT 10
Congratulations Terry! you have played over 1000 hours of world of Warcraft! You are now officially a card-carrying member of Shadowwolf's "World of Wargeeks" club.
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Post by acid on Mar 14, 2006 21:19:28 GMT 10
ROFL
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Post by Scruffy Dog on Mar 14, 2006 21:22:06 GMT 10
hahaha. World of Wargeeks. Priceless.
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