Post by -Vi2- Arach on Aug 22, 2005 14:57:04 GMT 10
>> >>For everyone who has ever had an evaluation or performance review
>> >>just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes
>> >>taken from United States Federal Government employee performance
>> >>evaluations.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and
>> >> has started to dig."
>> >>
>> >>2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
>> >>
>> >>3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of
>> >>definite won't be."
>> >>
>> >>4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a
>> >>rat in a trap."
>> >>
>> >>5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change
>> >>feet."
>> >>
>> >>7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
>> >>
>> >>8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
>> >>achieve them."
>> >>
>> >>9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
>> >>
>> >>10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the
>> >>better."
>> >>
>> >>11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
>> >> together."
>> >>
>> >>12. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary
>> >>ignoramus."
>> >>
>> >>13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
>> >>
>> >>14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
>> >>
>> >>15. "He's been working with glue too much."
>> >>
>> >>16. "He would argue with a signpost."
>> >>
>> >>17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
>> >>
>> >>18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
>> >>
>> >>19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the
>> >>other one."
>> >>
>> >>20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
>> >>
>> >>21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
>> >>
>> >>22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
>> >>
>> >>23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
>> >>coming."
>> >>
>> >>24. "He's got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out
>> >>looking for it."
>> >>
>> >>25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a
>> >>week."
>> >>
>> >>26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
>> >>
>> >>27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
>> >>
>> >>28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
>> >>
>> >>29. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
>> >>
>> >>30. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."
>> >>
>> >>31. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"
>> >>just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes
>> >>taken from United States Federal Government employee performance
>> >>evaluations.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and
>> >> has started to dig."
>> >>
>> >>2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
>> >>
>> >>3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of
>> >>definite won't be."
>> >>
>> >>4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a
>> >>rat in a trap."
>> >>
>> >>5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change
>> >>feet."
>> >>
>> >>7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
>> >>
>> >>8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
>> >>achieve them."
>> >>
>> >>9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
>> >>
>> >>10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the
>> >>better."
>> >>
>> >>11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
>> >> together."
>> >>
>> >>12. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary
>> >>ignoramus."
>> >>
>> >>13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
>> >>
>> >>14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
>> >>
>> >>15. "He's been working with glue too much."
>> >>
>> >>16. "He would argue with a signpost."
>> >>
>> >>17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
>> >>
>> >>18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
>> >>
>> >>19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the
>> >>other one."
>> >>
>> >>20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
>> >>
>> >>21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
>> >>
>> >>22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
>> >>
>> >>23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
>> >>coming."
>> >>
>> >>24. "He's got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out
>> >>looking for it."
>> >>
>> >>25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a
>> >>week."
>> >>
>> >>26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
>> >>
>> >>27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
>> >>
>> >>28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
>> >>
>> >>29. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
>> >>
>> >>30. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."
>> >>
>> >>31. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"
