Post by Scruffy Dog on Mar 9, 2007 3:56:05 GMT 10
When I first heard of the concept, I thought 'delicious.' I heard good things, and especially liked the idea due to the 'all natural' concept.
But enough about Jessica Alba's stripper role on Sin City, and onto the topic at hand, the energy drink Mother.
Let me first start by saying I'm quite the 'connoisseur', if you will, of Energy drinks. As I write this, there is at least 1 Red Eye bottle in every room of the van, most likely several in the kitchen, and perhaps a few Black V's and maybe even a Berry V bottle. When awake, I try to stay awake for as long as possible, especially when I have people over. And so, energy drinks are my best friend.
I never intended to try Mother, however, because I had all I needed in Black V and my favourite, Red Eye. The only reason I ended up trying it was to see for myself what all the hype was about. And by hype, I am of course referring to the fact that everyone I know who has tried it has told me it is completely horrible. And in truth, I trusted their judgement on the matter. I really only tried it for the novelty value. The same reason I drunk Chinotto, Premium Beer from Coles - the kind you can buy without being 18 (by itself and mixed with Solo) and Irn Bru. But of course, because of that reason... I conned a friend, Ardy, into buying it instead.
Now to set the scene. It's 4.30am, and Ardy was starting to nod off. He sits up and claims 'I think I better try that Mother drink now..." and he retrieved it from the fridge, nice, cool and refreshing.
I demanded the first sip.
When I had that first sip, it took a moment to sink in. Was it horrible, or was it just a new taste sensation I couldn't appreciate quite yet? So I had another sip. And another. And then I started laughing.
Mother is perhaps the most horrid drink I have ever tasted in my life.
Ardy then had a drink, and said "It's not THAT bad" and after a moment, took another sip. He then didn't touch it again. At all. In fact, he made note of the fact he was now putting the can down forever. For a while we discussed what it tasted like. Ardy's first suggestion was stale cordial, but I didn't think that really covered it. After a while I said that it was perhaps as I imagined 'piss' would taste like. Finally I think Ardy summed it up.
"What we have there, is the liquid product of munting."
I dared another sip to see if that was justified. And it was. I am now fully convinced that he is right. When I think of munting, Mother is EXACTLY what I imagine the taste would be like. The 'all natural' factor never had more meaning.
So in summary, if you want to buy an energy drink to keep you awake... buy Mother. I fully endorse it. Because simply... there is NO WAY you will be able to sleep with a taste so dreadful still lingering in your mouth.
Ardy has run out of beer, and has no other liquid left to get rid of the taste - a fact that he's constantly complaining about in the background. I myself am off to find month old Red Eye bottles so I may suck whatever stale remnants of liquid I can find. And perhaps I'll find some dead cockroachs I can use to scrape my tastebuds with. Because nothing... NOTHING... could taste as bad as Mother.
Now excuse me while I go do just that.
But enough about Jessica Alba's stripper role on Sin City, and onto the topic at hand, the energy drink Mother.
Let me first start by saying I'm quite the 'connoisseur', if you will, of Energy drinks. As I write this, there is at least 1 Red Eye bottle in every room of the van, most likely several in the kitchen, and perhaps a few Black V's and maybe even a Berry V bottle. When awake, I try to stay awake for as long as possible, especially when I have people over. And so, energy drinks are my best friend.
I never intended to try Mother, however, because I had all I needed in Black V and my favourite, Red Eye. The only reason I ended up trying it was to see for myself what all the hype was about. And by hype, I am of course referring to the fact that everyone I know who has tried it has told me it is completely horrible. And in truth, I trusted their judgement on the matter. I really only tried it for the novelty value. The same reason I drunk Chinotto, Premium Beer from Coles - the kind you can buy without being 18 (by itself and mixed with Solo) and Irn Bru. But of course, because of that reason... I conned a friend, Ardy, into buying it instead.
Now to set the scene. It's 4.30am, and Ardy was starting to nod off. He sits up and claims 'I think I better try that Mother drink now..." and he retrieved it from the fridge, nice, cool and refreshing.
I demanded the first sip.
When I had that first sip, it took a moment to sink in. Was it horrible, or was it just a new taste sensation I couldn't appreciate quite yet? So I had another sip. And another. And then I started laughing.
Mother is perhaps the most horrid drink I have ever tasted in my life.
Ardy then had a drink, and said "It's not THAT bad" and after a moment, took another sip. He then didn't touch it again. At all. In fact, he made note of the fact he was now putting the can down forever. For a while we discussed what it tasted like. Ardy's first suggestion was stale cordial, but I didn't think that really covered it. After a while I said that it was perhaps as I imagined 'piss' would taste like. Finally I think Ardy summed it up.
"What we have there, is the liquid product of munting."
I dared another sip to see if that was justified. And it was. I am now fully convinced that he is right. When I think of munting, Mother is EXACTLY what I imagine the taste would be like. The 'all natural' factor never had more meaning.
So in summary, if you want to buy an energy drink to keep you awake... buy Mother. I fully endorse it. Because simply... there is NO WAY you will be able to sleep with a taste so dreadful still lingering in your mouth.
Ardy has run out of beer, and has no other liquid left to get rid of the taste - a fact that he's constantly complaining about in the background. I myself am off to find month old Red Eye bottles so I may suck whatever stale remnants of liquid I can find. And perhaps I'll find some dead cockroachs I can use to scrape my tastebuds with. Because nothing... NOTHING... could taste as bad as Mother.
Now excuse me while I go do just that.
